Important Addendum

RE: Dealing with Telemarketers...

There's something really important I forgot to mention
for the one that's my All Time Favorite

After you pull that one off, wait at least two to three weeks before using it again. What will happen is your victim will decide this would be a really cool trick to pull on a co-worker, and have them call your number. If they get the same treatment it sets off a train reaction and your phone number is now the hottest game in town. I learned this the hard way. My phone rang non-stop for two days because I made the mistake of playing this one twice in a row.
You will get a couple of calls right after the "Breach in Sector Five" routine, but if you play them differently, your original victim just gets a second whammy--wondering what the hell really happened.

And now for your Tip of the Day:

Let go of the idea that socks have to match and you will gain 27 minutes a week, an additional 13 minutes for every two more people you launder for. Consider it a fashion statement.
I seldom wear matching earrings (I've usually lost one of the pair). If someone asks me why my earrings (or socks) don't match, I tell them "because that's not how I lose them." and when they look confused by the response I ask... "well, if YOUR spouse died, would you want to jump in the grave with them?"

When people announce to me that my earrings (or socks) don't match, my response is a confidential whisper...

"I know. That's why I have to keep them apart."