Rich had a very nice Christmas. Visits from grand babies and very special nephews and nieces bearing home made cookies and all manner of goodies and treats. So many friends called and visited him. As always his brother cheers him up every time. As you would know, his nurses all love him.
This was our first Christmas in 16 years that we weren't completely together. The good news is that being in the hospital has enabled him to get some sleep thanks to the dextrose drip. He would be a bit happier if people remembered to turn out the lights when they leave the room at 2 am so he could go back to sleep, but he's getting really good at maneuvering that double pump IV pole so he can get up and do that himself. And I must say again, that in the several years he's been a guest at hospital hilton, the food has never been better. Kudos to Dietary!
I've been taking the laptop in everyday and we watch our favorite Christmas movies. "Love Actually" is our favorite, and of course we had to do another showing of the "Princess Bride". We're trying to decide if we're hanging on the Cliffs of Insanity, maneuvering the Fire Swamp or hanging out in the Pit of Despair. That movie never fails to lift his spirits--thank you, Rob Reiner. We watched one of the Northern Exposure Christmas episodes, because Christmas without the Raven is just not Christmas.
Every single day Rich amazes me in a new way. I spent six hours in that bed with him, and when I got up, I thought someone had stuck a knife in my back, both hips and my right knee. Apparently lack of sleep can make any bed seem comfortable, and I need some Arthritis Pain Relief.
I went to our annual Christmas Eve party hosted by the lovely and incomparable Christy and Denny. I went with great trepidation, and it was only Rich's insistence and my GPS that got me there (I would get lost in a bathtub if there weren't a faucet at one end). It didn't feel right being there without him. Not to mention that he always plays Santa Claus and passes out all the gifts. Big hugs from Buddy and Michael and I felt like I could manage. Once Christopher, Alicia, Eric, Andie and Kaylee got there, I started to believe I could get through the evening without crying. I kept pretending that Rich was just in the other room being his social butterfly self. Every time I heard someone laugh I could believe that Rich had inspired it. Hey. It worked.
Christmas day didn't feel like anything at all. I've been sleeping downstairs on the couch so I won't see the Christmas tree. I strongly recommend that you keep the TV on Turner Classic Movie channel for just the right level of distraction. And it's good to sleep to because there are no commercials to startle you awake when their decibel level rises. Not sure why TCM thought Ben Hur is a Christmas movie (I think Easter) but at least it's not one of those Bing Crosby in a dog collar tear jerkers.
I managed to get myself together and out the door, and in honor of Rich I decided to stop at the carwash because I know how much he hates it when the car is dirty and I drive through farm country Monday through Friday. This is about the time someone should have had a video camera going because in retrospect I must believe it was hysterical.
The down side of being married for 15 years to a wonderful man is that you lose a skill set. Before Rich I took care of my house, my vehicle, my finances, my dog and myself. So it's been 15 years since I washed the car anywhere but in my drive way in the summertime. One more reminder that technology is leaving me in the dust. I spent a good 9 minutes trying to figure out the control board, and since I didn't have a five year old with me, I was screwed. I could not find any opening on this 3 x 5 foot control panel that accepted legal tender printed by Uncle Sam. It seemed important to find such a slot because Rich would NOT be happy if I used a credit card in such a non-secure transaction. Finally I opted for the credit card. Ten dollars. No instructions provided, and yes, yes, I fully understand what an idiot I appear to be, but in my defense, if you handed someone an iPhone when all they've ever used is a rotary phone.... My last encounter with an automated car wash was entering the bay just right and some lovely mechanical mechanism takes over and ever so slowly guides your car through it's bath. This did not happen. Nothing happened except a powerful spray made one vertical line of clean on my car, then stopped and I had to figure out how to correct the situation or get the hell out of there. I'm not sure why, but this situation frustrated me to tears. I drove around, pulled into a "manual" bay and dumped more money into the wall and attempted to wash the car myself, wearing my best winter coat. It wasn't pretty, but I'm sure it was funny to watch and a good time was had by all.
I arrived at the hospital just as Santa's two favorite elves were arriving. Two of this country's brightest legal minds were fully regaled in the finest elf outfits I've ever seen, complete with curled pointy shoes, pointy hats, pointy ears, gold edging and bells that were jingling from I'm not sure where. Everyone we passed on our way to the fourth floor were thrilled and delighted at the sight of them. They even brought treats for the nurses.
I wish you could have seen Rich's face when he saw those two walk into his room. I am NEVER fast enough with the camera. Rich had so many gifts to open (me as well) I could tell that no amount of protest could convince anyone that he was not delighted. It was a lovely visit.
Shortly after the elves left, there was a timid knock on the door and in came Rich's Endo doctor. She looked especially nice, with a hint of Christmas about her, visibly in spite of her lab coat. She had a foil covered plate in hand, topped with an outrageously gorgeous bow. She is blond, petite and she has a Rumanian accent. I know it is Rumanian because I asked her. I had been unable to place it myself so I asked and then learned that she was educated in England so no wonder I couldn't place a British tinged Rumanian accent. So picture her standing there and in her soft voice saying...
"I hope this is not inappropriate, but I like to bake and I brought you my family's traditional Yule log cake. I made it myself from my family's recipe very far back. Don't tell your doctor."
It was the first time she had ever hinted at joking with us. We were overcome. She and I chatted a bit about our mutual love for baking and then she wished us a Merry Christmas and apologized that she hadn't been able to get him home for Christmas, and we thanked her hugely for all she's accomplished so far. She has the shyest smile I've ever seen, and she ducks her head a bit when it happens. She was almost out the door when she turned back to us and said...
"You're the reason I became a doctor."
She was gone. Rich and I just stared at each other in shock and awe and then we both dissolved into sobs and tears. Holy Yule cake, Batman, it's like she knew I have been praying for her and thanking her every day since Rich became her patient. When Rich's nurse came in and he told her about it, she was the most shocked of all. "Hell," she said, "we didn't know Dr C. had a soul."
I think that's what some people don't get about this blog. This is where I spew the pressure and insanity so I can be a loving supportive cheerleader, to Rich and his care providers. What I forget is that I spend one percent of my life on this blog, but it's 100% of what you know about me. My boss and co-workers chastise me repeatedly for being too nice to the patients and allowing them to abuse me while I jump through hoops for them. I'm no nicer or better than anyone, I'm just working for "points". Trying to earn coins for Rich. More importantly, I never know when I'm speaking to Elijah. And no, that's not a voice in the van, it's The Elijah, as in the Prophet Elijah. The Spirit of Yom Kippur. Check it out. I learned to "speak to everyone as if you're speaking to Elijah, and know he may be in disguise."
Most importantly I speak to Rich, and he seems to like me just fine.
Merry Christmas with many thanks for all the Love and support that is given constantly without our asking. Shalom.
