On Sept 13th Rich’s oncologist’s office scheduled him for a CAT scan for 9/21/11 because the doctor had found a new palpable mass and there are new symptoms. During this process, Rich tried to explain that their satellite facility closest to us does not provide the IV service necessary for this test.
“Yes they do,” she said,
“No they don’t,” Rich said, based on several experiences that required rescheduling.
“Yes they do,” she said again. After a couple of attempts to explain, Rich, being the gentleman he is, acquiesced, and thought “well, maybe they’ve made some changes I don’t know about….”
So Rich arranged for a neighbor to take him for the CAT scan because I had to work and our other car is in the shop. He arrived 15 minutes prior to his appointment and nodded with understanding as they explained….”Rich, you know we can’t do this test here, we’ve had to reschedule it before because we can’t do the necessary IV prior to the scan. We don’t know why they put you on our schedule.”
With great apologies he explains that he just did what they told him to do, and when he tried to explain to them they said he was wrong and this is the Time/Place/Date they gave him so here he is. Five minutes later as he and our neighbor are pulling out of the parking lot, Central Scheduling calls wanting to know where he is because it’s five minutes before his scan at the main campus 45 minutes away.
He’s telling me this when I get home from work, after hugs and I ask him how his scan went. The only edge in his voice is for how I will receive the report of how his scan did not go. He is totally accepting of this situation, and why wouldn’t he be, since he’s lived it so many times. There again is the difference between us. He lives in the certainty of cancer and I live in the uncertainty of cancer.
The certainty of cancer for him is that the end of this trip will transport him to the Bliss of Returning Home. For me, the end of this journey will be learning to function after the amputation of half my soul, and the person I most need to help me through that will be gone. In my current efforts to prepare myself for that—he’s already gone.
I spend all day every day fighting the battles of insurance denials, confusion and frustration for my patients. Then I come home and listen to Rich’s battles of doing the same for himself and feel the guilt that I’m not fighting these battles for him. Seriously, Rich spends nearly half of every day on the phone dealing with problems resulting from procedures not coded correctly, the wrong insurance company billed, denying this, denying that, bills that are over two years old, that we’re just finding out about and they’re being turned over to collection, and the doctor’s offices haven’t entered his secondary insurance despite the fact that he presents his cards at EVERY visit. Every day. Day after day. After days of patients complaining to me that the co-pay on their erectile dysfunction medication is over $20!!!! And they can’t afford the $4 co-pay on their nicotine patches and I just want to know who’s buying their cigarettes. It is now every waking moment.
And then I have a patient who is even further on the journey than Rich. His wife works for Smuckers. Like me, she went through her FMLA, then returned to work and juggled the care of her life partner. Her bosses decided it was too much for her, assured her that her job was safe and sent her home to care for her husband without concern for losing job or benefits. She speaks about her bosses, co-workers and the company like they are extended family, and based on their care and concern, they obviously are. Smuckers. They make jelly for fuck sake. They do not pretend to be in the health care or caring business. They operate at a very nice profit. They make what is basically a luxury food item, at a profit, and my patient’s wife assures me that she is not being treated any differently than any other Smucker employee would be in this situation. I was threatened with termination following Rich’s emergency surgery to repair what THEIR infectious disease doctor fucked up. Life is good. I know I have no hope of working for Smucker’s but I sure as hell want to eat their gawd-damned jelly!!!!
And NOW… this same medical center of choice has fired all of their 70 LPN’s to be replaced with 20 RNs (I suspect all new grads at the bottom of the RN pay scale).
Let’s re-cap. Shall we? We can expect that at Rich’s next hospital stay the nurses will be even more over worked and the wait time for his call light to be answered to at least triple (a conservative estimate depending on the nurse assistant’s time on their cell phones); I have to cook and bring him nutritious meals when he’s in the hospital—or McDonald’s per their dietary department; and now it appears that I will have to take time off work without pay to make sure his tests get scheduled correctly and his care gets billed properly. Yee-hah. What. Me Cranky?!?!?!
I didn’t even get cranky when a patient yelled at me because the pharmacist at WalMart gave her the wrong prescription. Seriously?! If I had any control over WalMart whatsoever, this world would be a far different place I assure you.
I’m not cranky, I’m not angry and I’m not bitter. I’m just plain worn out.
