Jagged little pills

Rich is back on the chemo train, so I have to tell you how THAT's going.

Every other morning starts with a half hour of heaving and vomiting, and about an hour later when that settles down, the 45 minutes of extreme abdominal distress punctuated every 10 minutes with diarrhea.

But enough about me.

Two weeks ago Dr McGee gave Rich samples (fourteen) of a brand new chemo drug with instructions of one every other day so we can see how he tolerates them. Retail value = $3,000. I'll repeat that. Fourteen pills = $3,000. Let's move on.

I read the insert, which is about as pointless as watching the weather channel. During drug trials, if one person ate bad fish and then complains of nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, it has to be listed as a possible side effect. Seriously. Between the FDA and drug companies' legal departments... I need meds.

The insert did NOT list Reiki as a contraindication—go figure—so I went to work. I pulled every one of those $214+ pills out of their individual foil wrapper and placed them in my special hand made ceramic Reiki cup (it is a thing of beauty) and went to work. Twice a day for four days I Reiki'd them just as I had the last batch. Rich took his first pill on Sunday, August 7th. (We didn't want to start sooner because he had a golf outing on the 6th.) Every odd day of the month since he takes a pill. To date he has not had a single adverse effect. I, on the other hand, stop in the middle of my 5:00 am workout on every odd day of the month to heave and puke which is not too bad because there's nothing in my stomach but coffee and that's not TOO bad in reverse. The diarrhea that follows an hour later does put a hitch in my get-along because when you've got a 45+ min commute through farmland, you need to have total bowel control. By the time I get to work I'm totally fine.

Whoa, folks. I am NOT complaining. Eau contraire, mon fraire. It's a blessing to be able to carry part of the load even in a small way just sometimes. Yes, yes, I know—my placebo addiction has made me hyper-vulnerable to the power of suggestion. Compounded by overwhelming survivor guilt because I'm NOT the patient. Yes, yes, I'm a second year medical resident's psyche research paper waiting to be written. Blah, blah, blah. It's not easy being an Empath, I don't care how you get there.

On the POSITIVE side of chemo … always look on the bright side of Life...
There is a fabulous spa that Christy introduced me to. Not only is it the best spa experience I've ever had (okay so I've had three) they give free massages to cancer patients on chemo.

Rich saw Dr McGee today to see how the FREE samples of $3000 chemo pills are doing. I reminded him verbally twice and in writing to get an Rx stating he is on chemo so he can get the massage. His blood work is great and he's gained three pounds. No shit. I gained three pounds just watching him eat. They had their usual golf discussion, the latest lame joke was shared, and they actually discussed his treatment. He got the Rx so he can get the massage and when McGee started to tease him about it, Rich assured him that his major concern was farting in the middle of the massage. Yes, once again, another major laugh fest for the boys and thank heavens I can fork over the $1,000 per month to cover the co-pay on that visit.

Fool that I am, I have to ask.... “so did Dr McGee write you a prescription for the chemo?”

Deer in headlights...

“Oh shit. I forgot to ask about that.”

Really? Really. Seriously? ….. Are you Fucking kidding me?!?!?!?

Not only do you not have to deal with the adverse effects of chemo, you don't even need to take the damn pills?!?!?

“Swallow it down...the jagged little pill...it feels so good, swimming in your stomach....”