Because there IS a positive side to everything.
The positive side of the last few days, three years is that I have made an amazing discovery and rather than patent or copyright it and earn the millions that would enable me to create heaven on earth for Rich... I will share with you for free.
I have developed the first, totally free, non-invasive, fool-proof, at home hormone test.
If you watch four consecutive hours of Lifetime Movine Network, aka LMN, aka, Puss TV and you want to puke = your testosterone level is that of a normal 25 year old heterosexual male with great muscle tone, a healthy libido and minimal mommy issues.
If you watch those same four hours consuming two or more boxes of tissues, you're licking the bottom of the Hagen Das carton and you are eagerly waiting for the next four hours = your estrogen level is at the high range of total perfect female and you're probably ovulating.
If, however, you complete those four hours sans puking/crying, you are staring blindly wondering “what the fuck?!”, you have random thoughts of all the things you could have accomplished in the last four hours, you realize that washing windows would have been more fulfilling, and your only emotion is the faint taste of pity you're feeling for the actors who prostituted their craft for the paycheck, then.... you might want to consult a physician because you probably need medication.
On that last clue, I'll take Medications for $500 Alex. . . . How do you know when to go back on the Happy Pills?
Yaaaaayyyyyyy!! I win.
It's interesting on a perverted level, but you really are at your best, writing wise, when you are most under the unique pressures of this situation. I suspect you may be self-censoring. STOP IT. While you may worry about hurting the feelings of those you care about, those who care about you will not have their feelings hurt. I can't speak for anyone else who reads this blog, but for me, the more candid and direct you are, the better the lens that allows me to see what is truly important in my life. Anyone who takes what you say here personally, in a negative way, needs an enema.
ReplyDelete