I didn't Start the Fire

On the off chance that my departure from Con-Fun-Med seemed a bit harsh on my part, I decided to post my resignation letter....

On October 8th, 2010 I completed 12 weeks of FMLA due to my husband's 26 day hospitalization for sepsis, and 7 day hospitalization for surgery on September 19th. On the advice and request of his doctors, I applied for four weeks of unpaid personal leave so that I could care for him and assist in his recuperation. That was denied and I returned to work on October 11th.

I appreciate the many efforts my fellow nurses have made to assist me in my recent difficulties. Unfortunately, the random days/half days I have been given since returning to work have been less than 24 hours notice and have not coincided with scheduled medical appointments.

I have always been very proud to be an employee of CMGA and grateful for the experience I have gained in my three years at Con-Fed Med. I have done my best to be a positive, contributing member of this team for patient care, the residency program, and the implementation of electronic medical records.

Since returning to work I have made every attempt to balance the demands of a full time work schedule and my husband's physical and emotional needs and medical transportation. His current condition is such that I must now choose between this job and his best interest. Therefore, it is with deep regret that I tender my resignation, effective at end of my shift today.


I work hard at NOT burning bridges, so I want to point out that writing about the fire does not make me the one who started it.

Believe me, I could throw gasoline on that fire....far beyond relating the pompous behavior of fragile egos... the numerous times nurses have been reprimanded because “there were no tissues in the exam room”, or an unopened alcohol pad was left on the counter, or no band-aids or antibiotic ointment in the drawer. Doctors have left expensive dopplers in the room with patients which then grew legs and checked out with the patient, but god help a nurse if the previous patient cleans out the bandaid/antibiotic supply in the room and we don't check and replace supplies between each patient. Hmmmm that would significantly slow down the rooming of patients. I have been told more than once “You don't need to talk to the patient, just get 'em ready, I want to be out of her by 4:30” Then what fun when the patient complains to the doctor that “your nurse is NOT very friendly!!”

I have never seen a single office protocol implemented where a nurse was asked for input beforehand. After it's dumped on us and we try to explain what's wrong or offer a better way....we're just whiners and complainers. Then when it doesn't work (as we tried to explain) it's our fault it didn't work because we're whiners and complainers. Yum!!

So when I hear the words “team” and “family” and all the fuzzy, feel-good words meant to inspire, I just want to throw up on someone's shoes. Here's my bottom line. I'll clean the toilets, or wash the windows if that's what needs to be done, just don't talk to me like I'm STUPID. I believe that is a reasonable expectation. Let's just be open with the fact that I'm a lesser human being in your opinion and leave it at that. Trust me. I won't cry myself to sleep.

Then the nurses and office staff spend 2-1/2 hours in a meeting one morning in October so that Human Resource experts can explain to us how to be more user friendly. It seemed like a good idea, despite the fact that only one doctor was present and when I asked if doctors would be receiving the same training at some point in time it was obvious I had just stepped on my proverbial dick. The responding collective gasp, followed by the big silence created a vacuum in the room that caused a piercing sensation in my inner ears.

Wait. It gets better....

When the HR Expert informed us that our “go-to person” in the office for all problems, abuse and difficulties is the same person who is the main cause of all the problems in the office, a significant number of my brain cells exploded, resulting in a red blur coating my eyeballs and I thought, “wow, this is how rose colored glasses work!!” Then the undamaged brain cells just shut down because I didn't have a sharpened pencil to stick in my eye to stop the pain.

SERIOUSLY?! You have just admitted to everyone present that you have NO CLUE as to what the real problem is, AND you spent zero effort to find out.
Nice

I spent the remaining two hours of this meeting in the mental exercise of calculating 2.5 hours times the mean hourly rate of pay of those present, times the number of people being paid to swallow 2.5 hours of bullshit. Sadly I gained no comfort in the knowledge of what this exercise in futility was costing. The cumulative detrimental effect on moral......priceless. The HR expert could have spent the seven minutes walking with us back to our office to get all the input necessary.

I'm not sure I can explain my position in a way that makes clear sense. I don't go to work to socialize with friends, but I do want to be a contributing member of a strong, productive Team. I'm perfectly content to do my best and contribute to “the mission”, however humble my contribution. All I ask in return is basic human respect and a clear set of rules that synchronize with the party line. If you want to be my superior, then you need to perform accordingly. Working for graduates of the Dogbert School of Management just wears you down.

Holy Unemployed, Batman.... what are the chances I'll ever work again?! Luckily, I spent 15 plus years as an office manager in private industry (where you have to be productive and cost effective) before I went to nursing school. Apparently, all I need now is a lobotomy and I can return to that profession within the medical community.

I may be describing the Flames, but I didn't start the fire that burned this bridge.