Inner voices

The Good News is that the Voices in my head have stopped talking to me.

The Bad News is that they're talking to each other and I can still hear them.


I have no more patience for radio commercials than I have for TV commercials. Most stories on NPR make me sad or angry. The CD player in my van doesn't work. All that's left are the voices in my head to still the silence of my 45 minute commute. (I tried talking to myself but it felt rude and embarrassing.) I've given up trying to ignore them. Sometimes I can distract myself with driving. Mostly I treat them like all the voices outside of my head—I pay just enough attention to what they're saying to keep from getting myself into trouble. Thankfully they're not much more annoying than the voices outside my head, they usually use better grammar, and they don't offer an option for Espanol.

This morning They were discussing a story we had heard this past weekend about a nice lady who is divorcing her husband so that her medical bills don't drive her husband's second generation family business into bankruptcy. The decision has nothing to do with and in no way impacts their relationship, it's simply an economic necessity. Medical bills, bankruptcy laws and the devastation that could effect extended family are forcing them to divorce. And you thought Gay Marriage was the ultimate threat to holy matrimony. Hah!

I sympathize with their plight. I myself have considered divorce in order to protect our assests from Rich's rising medical costs, creditors and creatures from Insurance Denial Lagoon. If it weren't for the health benefits from my job providing Rich's secondary coverage, we would have already lost our house. I just hope that that couple, and others like them, get their divorces before the powers that be catch on and lobby the legislature to close that loophole so the religious “right” can go back to blaming Gays for destroying the sanctity of marriage. Seriously. I know hundreds of divorced people. I have yet to hear any of them blame their divorce on the threat of Gay marriage. Ever. Not one. Okay...I know a few who divorced because one of them FINALLY accepted their sexual orientation, but that's a different matter entirely.

(Lest it appears that I digress, we remind you that this was a conversation and all the voices were participating.)

In no time the consensus in my van was that Rich did not marry well. At this point I opted out of the conversation and paid just enough attention to keep from getting myself into trouble. Besides which I had no argument strong enough to win the debate....the majority agreed that Rich should have married a US Senator or Congresswoman, thereby guaranteeing himself the BEST health plan in the world, (even after his spouse left office) with the lowest health care cost to value ratio. Not to mention all the other perks and extras. Short of that he could have married into welfare with an arguably lower quality of care but at the same low, low price. About this time the traffic becomes a pleasant distraction. It is not wise to contemplate deep thoughts on the state of health care in America while driving to a job in the health care profession. Luckily the conversation moved on to other topics.

Then they began discussing all the possible careers I could handle that would allow me optimum time to spend with him. I liked the idea of doing Stand Up, but even if I overcame my stage fright, Angry Female comics don't seem to do very well, with the possible exception of RoseAnne, and look what's happened to her. Rich would enjoy the travel, though. Writing would be great for the wonderful schedule and working out of my home, but it would take quite some time to get that established. However, one voice did point out that no one listens to me now, so why would they pay to read what I've written down? Good point.

Phone sex provider would be logistically convenient, but I know I couldn't keep from laughing 27 seconds into the call. I'd probably start lecturing the caller on better things he could be doing with his time and money.

Telemarketing is out. I have screwed with so many telemarketers in the past many years they probably have a BOLA out on me. Hey, it was just good, clean fun.

The bottom line is that I just don't have anything to offer that would coincide with our current needs. My finite skill set includes accounting, LPN, Reiki Master, excellent cook, and up until recently—really good housekeeper. Doubtful I will find someone to pay for me to work those skills from home.

Maybe it's not too late to hook Rich up with a Senator or Congresswoman. I'll google E Harmony.....